Exploring existentialism has opened a few doors inside my pseudo intellectual closed mind and I find myself venturing outside the safe little world that I have cocooned myself in. So University eh? How can I make the comments I have within my  previous blogs without actually experiencing what a University is and what it has to offer? What has led me to talk about Universities? I signed up for a Bachelor of Art Degree today,

For the past couple of months I have been in one of my deepest bouts of depression, struggling with the fact that we all die one day and what is the purpose of extending oneself in a life that I know is doomed right from the beginning. Researching existentialism has shown me that yes we do all die in the end however it offers something religion, science or philosophy doesn't. There is no false hope in Existentialism such as the others, it explains life in a way I seem to understand and offers some insight into how I have been behaving and how best to face up to the fact that has crippled me mentally for the last 25 years.

What does it offer? For me it offers a notion, a way of explaining the unexplainable, to me it says yes you are here, yes you will die however it explains to me to accept that fact and to live authentically. So in order to understand that explanation I have done the one thing that I have always shunned away from. To stop making comments about things unless I have actually experienced it first hand. For too long in my life I have always been able to knock things, to make comments about things I have no knowledge or first hand experience in. I understand some people do this in order to make excuses for their own inactivity, their own way of opting out by making excuses.

So yeh I did it, I chose a thing that deep down I have wanted to achieve, not for self gratification but for a desire to complete something difficult and through existentialism do it because I want to do it, have always wanted to do however haven't been living authentically enough to make the commitment within myself.

These are easy words to write, now to fully commit is an entirely different thing.